As I tuned into the month of November 2019, the topic of REFLECTION strongly surfaced, and the inner voice gently whispered to me, “Take time to reflect, remember, recognize, and review.”
While going through my office recently, I realized how many old books, notebooks, binders, textbooks, course notes, sticky notes, and collections of papers with inspirational thoughts and quotes scribbled in a rush I had accumulated. And forgotten—despite my good intentions and promises made to myself to review and reflect on my own learning journey.
In the fast-paced world we live in, like everyone, I am bombarded with new health discoveries, diets, the latest wellness gadgets, trainings, formulas, testings, and the next best thing for [you name it]. Practically every day, one of my clients will email me or ask me about the new “potion” that they heard about and want my opinion on it, because we are taught to believe that the future is where the answer we seek resides.
In a recent TV appearance, Deepak Chopra recommended that we take the time to ask ourselves more meaningful questions such as: Who am I? What’s my purpose? What am I grateful for? He further pointed out that “Reflection is more important than Affirmation. When you ask the question, the answer is already there within you.”
Deep inside me something said, “Aha…that feels right!”
Don’t get me wrong. Daily affirmation—which comes from the Latin affirmere, meaning “to make steady or strengthen”—is a proven and powerful practice. By repeating affirmations with conviction, we can rewire the dynamics of our brain, shift our old belief system, and reach for the highest potential of who we can be. I use affirmations and I have them posted various places throughout my home and office.
So, why is Reflection more important than Affirmation? Deepak didn’t go into more details on the show, but as I finished listening to him, I looked out the window and began to notice my own discomfort around reflection. I had avoided reflecting on my personal history and seeing how far I have come. Somehow, recognizing and reviewing my accomplishments felt indulgent and self-important. Besides, aren’t many of us taught in the spiritual world not to talk about our history and our “stories”?
Affirmations filled the spaces between my dogged determination to learn English as a teenager while living at a foster home in the U.S. and growing my own business for the last 20 years. During those hard times I mostly relied on affirmations to keep tugging me forward, putting one foot in front of the other toward the future, helping me simply to survive. As long as I was expanding and improving using affirmations, and working toward becoming Masami 11.0 (or whatever the latest upgrade is!) I believed I could “reach” that illusory place of contentment. And time spent on reflection was just going to cut into the precious time to perfect my future self.
Dee Coulter, a neuroscience author and educator, once spoke with my husband and me about the critical importance of contemplation, the kind where you simply allow the questions to linger. Because we can Google anything these days, and find answers to our questions, she observed, the younger generations are not taking the time to reflect on or “live into” their own questions, as Rilke once exhorted his young poet friend to do. They don’t “wonder’”anymore, and fear being seen as “stupid” for not having the answers.
My personal nature is to “wonder”. I loved daydreaming as a child, and I still form lots of intriguing questions throughout the day by engaging in “productive daydreaming”. I, too, have felt the pressure not to appear “ignorant” or “stupid”—particularly since English is my second language—and thus constantly read medical studies, Google information, sign up for certification programs, and stay as informed as possible in the health and wellness world.
In the process of all this doing, I have at times forgotten to practice the art of reflection, and steep in what I already have learned and embodied. What I teach and share today with all my clients does not come from the future. It comes from the culmination of my journey—all the people that have helped me, my daily practice, and my inner truth, which could never be taught by Google.
With this deep reflection in mind, for the month of November (and December), I’m devoting my time to three things:
Reviewing my notebooks and binders, and reorganizing my sticky notes;
Allowing myself to simply wonder and reflect without jumping to the answers or making future goals; and
Taking the time to rewrite and refine my memoir, as the rewriting process provides an opportunity to reflect on the accomplishments of my life and how far I have come.
In gratitude.